Compartmentalizing
What a long word
I find that I am really good at compartmentalizing. I don’t know if it just my natural way, or if it was developed during my years of being a paralegal.
com·part·men·tal·ize [kəmˌpärtˈmen(t)lˌīz]
verb
divide into sections or categories:
How do I compartmentalize? I find it comes in a multitude of ways. I was trained during my professional career to not discuss confidential information from our clients with anyone. I could generalize, if necessary, but not use specific details and never the actual names. Working in a general practice of a solo practitioner, I worked on a variety of cases and we never knew what our day would hold. So many times, I would have to set aside my own personal feelings on something in order to work on a case. I definitely have a work mode and a play mode. And if I am in work mode trying to complete a project, there is little time for play until the project is done. (Slight rule bending can apply depending on the circumstances.)
My brain was always in a deep processing mode when I was at work, so naturally, some of it rolled over into my personal life, too. As time progressed, I noticed that my brain would compile all these different types of information in “different compartments of my brain”, thus the term compartmentalizing was born. I would research different things and compile all kinds of information, until all of a sudden, it would hit me, epiphany style - “my compartment was full” and I had put all the information together to make a deeper sense of what I was learning! When I was writing briefs or pleadings for the Courts, the information would just flow out of me, and I knew exactly what I wanted to say to get my point across. My boss always loved my work and my work ethic.
When I realized there was a term for what I was doing, I looked it up, and then I read that it was not considered good to compartmentalize so it put me into deeper thought.
Compartmentalization is a defense mechanism in which people mentally separate conflicting thoughts, emotions, or experiences to avoid the discomfort of contradiction.
That uncomfortable state is called cognitive dissonance, and it’s one that humans try to avoid, by modifying certain beliefs or behaviors or through strategies like compartmentalization.
Defense mechanisms are unconscious strategies whereby people protect themselves from anxious thoughts or feelings. Other prominent defense mechanisms include denial, repression, and projection, among others. The concept was developed by Sigmund Freud and his daughter Anna Freud. Although many Freudian theories have been disproven over time, psychologists still believe that defense mechanisms are a valid construct.
So, this leads me to the grief side of compartmentalization. I definitely have my own “compartment” for all the grief that I still carry. Our family has lost so much. That hurt deep as I typed those words. (The Tool jam is hitting just right, too. Shivers.) That compartment is seemingly always full, and I am continually trying to release. But I think having a compartment for my grief is also beneficial because it allows me to process the information when it becomes “too full” and then also close it so I can still carry on life in the best way I know how. It is better than being triggered all the time. Triggers will still happen regardless because we are always being “tested”, but it helps me have a better control over it. So, whatever it is considered, it is how my brain processes. I believe that I live my life in honor of my loved ones that have passed before me. Just like that quote says I posted in the first grief blog, “You’re not healing to be able to handle trauma, pain, anxiety, depression. You’re used to those. You’re healing to be able to handle joy and to accept happiness back into your life.” I feel those words deep.
Do other people’s brains work this way, too? Do y’all compartmentalize? Maybe this is another word that I will have my own definition for, like whelm and perfect.
My Pattern message today that prompted me to write this blog said:
Whether you mean to or not, you may attract irrational and complex experiences. This is intentional. Being triggered in this way is pushing you to go deeper and past your boundaries. You’re forced to go into areas you have no experience with, and as a result, your reactions might be intense.
You’ve likely had periods of struggle in your life that made you feel powerless and overwhelmed. In response, you might internalize what you feel and be scared to express yourself or you could be easily provoked by people and situations. You can’t avoid or rationalize these circumstances, but they’re here to add complexity and depth to your inner life.
***Whoa!!! As I went to look for a picture to add to this blog, I was reminded of something!!! In my dreams, I am regularly going to this place that is out in the middle of the ocean with rainbow colored shipping containers and a boardwalk. Going into the different containers is a different experience!!! The synchronicity just hit me in the coolest of ways.